Free Delivery For Fathers Day 2015

It’s that time of year again. What to buy the aul fella for fathers day?

Easy, one of our fine Norn Iron T-Shirts makes the perfect gift for any aul fella! If you order between 9 June to 14 June 2015, you will get FREE DELIVERY! Make sure you use the voucher code YERDA at the checkout of our webstore. Usual T’s&C’s apply

Norn Iron T-Shirts Is Mobile Friendly!


We’ve come a long way since the Norn Iron T-Shirts brand was created way back in late 2004. Some things have changed over the years, but the craic is still the same. It’s always been our mission to provide good honest craic.

So bringing us bang up-to-date, we’ve launched our brand new mobile/tablet friendly site.

We know that 30 percent of all searches for our products came from a mobile device, in response we are now fully mobile optimised. Whether you’re sitting in your spare bedroom, strolling the East Strand in Portrush, or sitting in your tractor in Aghadowey, you’ll always be able to buy our famous t-shirts.

Of course, you can always do it the old fashioned way, and stop by at the stall at St.George’s Market in the heart of Belfast City centre.

Happy New Year! Enjoy 10% off all online orders!

Norn Iron T-Shirts would like to wish all our customers and friends a very prosperous 2015.

As a special New Year gesture, we are offering all customers 10% off all online orders, using voucher code JAN2015. Happy days! As usual, T&C’s apply (they can be found on the Norn Iron T-Shirts website)

Norn Iron T-Shirts New Year Sale!

Norn Iron T-Shirts New Year Sale!

Win a Buck Eejit T-Shirt!

Tell me who is the Buck Eejit in your life and win a t-shirt!

From time to time, I like to run a competition.  So this month, I am asking you to nominate your favourite buck eejit in your life.

This rules of the competition are simple. Go to the Norn Iron T-Shirts Facebook page;

1. LIKE the Post
2. Comment with the name of the person who is the buck eejit in your life.

You are free to enter as many buck eejits as you like!
The competition closes on
30th September 2014. The competition winner will be notified  via a PM on Facebook.


If you can’t wait until the end of the month to win this t-shirt, you can always stop by at the Norn Iron T-Shirts online shop

Good luck!

The Queen Visits Norn Iron T-Shirts!

The Queen of England Visits Norn Iron T-Shirts!

The Queen of England Visits Norn Iron T-Shirts!

This week Belfast City Council hosted an event called “Celebrating the Best of Belfast”, highlighting some of the city’s popular tourist attractions. With special guests of honour; HRH Queen Elizabeth 2 and the Duke Of Edinburgh.

Their day started off with a trip to the Crumlin Road Gaol aka “the Crum”. Accompanied by two former inmates – The First Minister Peter Robinson and Deputy First Minister Martin McGuinness.

Mr McGuinness was held in the prison for over a month in 1976 on a charge of IRA membership – a count that was later dropped in court.

DUP leader Mr Robinson was detained on a number of occasions during the 1980s for his involvement in protests against the controversial Anglo Irish Agreement.

Hey this is Northern Ireland expect nothing less from our politicians !

Next stop was to the newly regenerated Titanic Quarter. According the the Titanic Quarter Ltd, “Titanic Quarter’s futuristic mix of residential, commercial, tourism, education and retail space has provided Belfast with a new urban quarter.” So there you have it. We all know it as the shipyards.

The famous Paint Hall, where the Titanic and other ships were painted back in the day, has now been converted into a Sound Stage, attracting many a Hollywood block buster (and that’s not Holywood Co.Down either!).

Currently, HBO’s Game of Thrones is recording it’s fifth season at the studios. This was to be the royal couple’s next port of call. The Queen has paid a visit to the Game Of Thrones set, she was safe in the knowledge that there is no dispute over her place as monarch. The Iron Throne was on display for the Queen, but she declined the opportunity to test it out for comfort!

Next stop. Daaarn the market! Everyone loves a trip down to St George’s Market, including the Queen.

A couple of weeks ago we were asked to attend a special Tuesday market “Celebrating the Best of Belfast”. The interior walls got a lick of fresh paint, heck, even the floor got a power hose! You would have thought the Queen was coming or summat! Little did we know! The rumours fluttered about on on Monday it was confirmed that the Queen would be visiting our wee market.

As we entered the market, we were greeted by airport style security. Cops, sniffer dogs, scurrying council officials, badly dressed UTV presenters, and BBC’s Martina Purdy being super dynamic and wanting to get that “Godamn shot”. Our morning in the market was filled with much anticipation. But in typical market trader fashion, we took it in our stride. Poured another cup of coffee from our flasks, gossiped, and pondered “isn’t that yer man off the telly?”.

Crowd wise, it was a cross between a Wedding Party and the Twelfth, minus the blue carry-out bags. Lots a women of a certain age, dressed in their Sunday best to meet the Queen. Some had even got their hair done specially! Followed by some dodgy spides, “Watch yer begs love”.

Suddenly, a police man went running by. “They’re on their way!”. And with that, the crowds heaved towards the market doors, and the Royal couple entered St George’s.

The couple made their way around the market, meeting fellow traders on scheduled stops. Being presented with gifts en-route. It was one said that a fellow trader had even squeezed some Royal tenners out of them!

As the crowds followed the couple and their entourage around the market, they eventually arrived at my aisle. The Queen made an unscheduled stop at the stall next to me, Irish Wood And Wool. Proprietor and proud Englishman Dougie was made up as the Queen enquirer about his workmanship.

As I heard “…and this is Norn Iron T-Shirts.”, I found a small English monarch perusing my wears. I thought to myself; “Don’t call her love, or refer to her husband as a buck eejit”. That’s my usual market banter.
To be fair, like most English people at my stall, she looked a bit baffled. Secretary of State for Northern Ireland,Theresa Villiers, did some explaining. The Royal entourage did a Royal chuckle, and off they went about their Royal business of doing Royal things like having lunch at the City Hall, and eating watercress sammiges at Hillsborough Castle.

I’m glad I put a clean shirt on.

Shameless website plug by Norn Iron T-Shirts!

Shameless website plug by Norn Iron T-Shirts!

Yeah, it’s a shameless plug for the Norn Iron T-Shirts online shop!

You can usually find Norn Iron T-Shirts at St Georges Market every Friday, Saturday and Sunday in the heart of sunny Belfast. However, for those not in Belfast why not check out my website. I carry a wider selection than the market stall plus all tees can be delivered worldwide!

Happy days!

The John Joe – Funny Northern Irish Sat Nav

Unlike the UK, as everyone local knows, satellite navigation is completely pointless in Northern Ireland, much like the rest of the island of Ireland.
“Do you know anyone who lives on the B95?
Of course not! It’s Ballylismascaddyvalnahanmuck turn off!”

“Get a John Joe or get lost!”

The Norn Iron T-Shirts guide fer how till spake praper! aka the Northern Irish dictionary.

The Northern Irish have a peculiar, yet endearing, turn of phrase. Of course, most of our phrases and sayings come from the Ulster Scots dialect, although not exclusively.  Each area of the province has it’s own colloquialisms and idioms; what’s said in Co. Antrim may be confusing for those in Co. Fermangh. And when these culchies come on up till the big city, they are then confronted with how themuns in Belfast spake!

For visitors to our wee country, this can be particularly confusing!  Having my Norn Iron T-shirts stall on St Georges market, I’m on the front line when it comes to baffled tourists. There’s not a weekend goes by, that I do not find myself explaining what “the craic” is to a US visitor. During last year’s World Police and Fire Games, when I offered an LAPD officer a Craic Addict t-shirt, he wasn’t having it! In fact, he was quite offended that I would even suggest he would even take crack! Oh boys a dear! At least our Canadians and Australian muckers get it! There’s been many a time I’ve witnessed foreign visitors furiously thumbing through their English/whatever language phrase books looking for a meaning, and not finding it! Then asking confusedly in broken English, “What is a Dirty Wee Hallion?”. 


So here it is, the Norn Iron T-Shirts guide fer how till spake praper!


A pace – at peace –  to quietly sit still “would yousuns sit a pace!”

A face only a mother could love – ugly

A face like a baten bear – ugly

A face like a busted bun – ugly

A wee cup a tae in yer han – a cup of tea

A wee drap a tae in yer han – a cup of tea – the cup is not optional in reality but it is in speaking

Afeard – scared

Affronted – offended

Ah – me

Ah could see ye far enough – you are driving me crazy

Ah coulda ate the arse af a baby through the cot bars – i was really hungry

Ah way – a wee – a little bit

Ah way on! – go away

Ah wouldn’t give him the skin a ma skitter! – I wouldn’t give him anything – look up skitter to see just how rude this one is…

Ah’ll gee ya a slap in the kite – i shall slap your face

Ah’ll knack yer ballax in – i will beat you senseless

alright? – hello

All the best! – good bye!

Amptnah? – aren’t i?

Any more of this and there’ll be less of it! – stop it or else!

Are ye away? – are you leaving?

Are ye deef? – are you finding it hard to hear me?

Are ye gettin’? – are you being served?

Are yer havin’ a laugh? – are you kidding?

Arse – bottom

Article – a person you don’t like

As rough as a badger’s backside – less than sophistocated

As tight as a duck’s backside – mean with money

Away in the head – stupid

Away on! – you’re kidding!

Away ta fuck – oh come on now, you don’t mean that! or go away please

Awful – very  “thon wee fella’s awful nice!”

A wee want – a person who is not very bright

Aye – yes

Aul fella – an older man/ your father/your husband “wheres the aul fella today?

Aye yer ma! – Whatever


Bad wee rip – a person with a bad reputation

Bake – face or mouth

Bakebook – Facebook

Ballix – nonsense

Balloon –  a fool

Baltic –  to be really cold

Banjaxed – broken

Bap – bread roll or your head

Barred – a death sentence as it means you are not allowed in the bar

Bate – to beat something

Beezer! – great!

Beg – a bag

Big Lawd – man

Big mawn – man

Blade – a young person up to no good.

Bladdered – drunk

Blocked – drunk

Blootered – drunk

Blurt – rude young man

Boggin’ –  a filthy mess

Boke – vomit

Boney – a bonfire

Bout ye! –  Hello, how are you today?

Boys a dear – oh my word!

Brave – quite large/good

Brew – unemployment benefit

Brutal – shocking

Buck eejit – a mad idiot “Yer man’s a  buck eejit!”



Calm yer knickers – calm down

Cap shap – Police station

Catch yerself on! – wise up!

Catch yer head on! – wise up!

Champ – mashed potatoes with scallions

Chancer – someone trying to con

Cheeky wee get – cheeky chap

Chile – a child

Childers – children

Chippers – fish and chip shop

Clampit – idiot

Clarty – unclean/disgusting

Class – great/good

Cool yer jets – calm down

Coddin’ – joking

Craic – (prononuced crack) – to have good fun or a good time

Cracker – good

Critter – creature/person

Culchie – someone who from the countryside

Curly bap – curly hair

Cut – drunk


Dander – walk

Dead on – everything is good

Deadly – difficult

Deef – deaf “are yousens deef or what?”

Desperate – very bad

Diddies – large breasts

Dig – to punch “A’ll give you a dig in the bake”

Dine – down

Dirty wee hallion – a cheeky or rude rascal. Can apply to 10 year old boys or randy 50 year men.

Do ye think i came up the Lagain/Bann/foyle in a bubble? – Do you think i was born yesterday?

Does yer head in – drives you crazy/up the wall

Doesn’t know his arse from his elbow – he doesn’t know what he is talking about

Dog’s ballix – a show off

Dog’s dinner – a mess

Doll – woman

Dote – cute/adorable “thon chile is a wee dote”

Doin’ a line – to go out with someone romantically “yer woman offa the news is doin’ a line with the weather man””

Doin’ the double – to claim unemployment benefit whilst working

Doorsteps – thickly cut sandwich

Dour – miserable

Drooth – to be thirsty “I’ve a while drooth on me”

Dry yer eyes – stop crying/whinging


Eejit – affectionate term for an idiot


Face like a lugan spade – long face

Face like a bulldog chewing a wasp – very ugly

Face like a well skelped arse – slapped face

Fally – to follow

Feg – a cigarette

Fell down the ugly tree and didn’t miss a branch – very ugly

Ferfeckssake! – oh for goodness sake!

Fillum –  a film

Flur – floor

Footering –  to fiddle with something  “Wheres yer da? He’s in the garage footering with the lawn mower”

Forlorn – pitiful

Fur coat, no knickers – all show


Ganch –  an argumentative person

Geg – joke or funny

Get ‘er bucked! – to get stuck in. to have sex

Getawaytafuk! – no way!

Get on the Googles – to use a search engine

Give ma head peace –  leave me alone

Give us a buck at ye! – I would like to take you home and make love to you.

Give out – complain or scold

Grand –  everything is fine/good

Gulder – shouting

Gurn – to cry or complain

Gutted – disappointed

Gutties – trainers/running shoes


Half cut – half drunk

Hallion –  a rascal, someone up to no good

Hammered – drunk

Happy Days! –  everything is good

Header – a fool “yer mans a header, so he is!”

Head staggers – A fit of petty annoyance, to huff

Head the ball –  a fool

Hectic – mad/crazy

Heel – the thick end of a loaf

Hoke – to search “hoke about in my beg fer my keys”

Hoop – your bottom “I slipped on the ice and fell on ma hoop!”

Hot press – airing cupboard

Hoods – criminal/delinquent

Houl on – wait/hold on

Houl yer horses – wait/hold on

How’s it cuttin’? – how are you?


I tell a lie! – i stand corrected

If your mother was still alive that would kill her! – that wasn’t a nice thing to do!

If God spares me – if i am still alive or if God permits

I’ll do you in! – I’ll kill you!

Is that you? – are you finished?


Jawbox – kitchen sink

Jeepers! – an exclamation


Kebs- feet “My da has smelly kebs”

Keep ‘er lit! – Keep in there, keep going

Keks – trousers or underwear depending on your mood

Knock it inta ya! – eat up! or drink up!

Knock that down ye – eat up! or drink up!


Lamped – hit/punched

Lifted – arrested “oer wee fella was lifted by the peelers last night”

Look at the bake on her! – look at her face!

Looper – idiot

lug – ear

lug ole – ear hole


Mad – hectic

magic – good/great

melt – can mean head/shit/whatever is appropriate – “I’ll knock yer melt in!”

Messages – shopping

Millie / millbeg – a girl from a working class area

Mingin’ – dirty/messy/horrible

Minerals – fizzy drink (not water)

Mitch – to play truant from school

Mooncat – not wise

Monks – male underwear

More power to yer elbow – good luck to you

Mucker – friend

Mustard – troublesome “He’s mustard so he is!”


Nay bor – no problem

nice one! – well done!

Nigh – now

Norn Iron – Northern Ireland

Numpty – a fool


Oxsters – armpits


Pan loaf – regular bread as opposed to “plain loaf” which is slightly coarser and much better

parful – powerful

Pastie – minced pork with mashed potato shaped into a patty and battered then deep fried

Peelers – the police

Piece – a sandwich

Piece box – sandwich box

Pishin’ down – raining heavily

Pished – drunk

Poke – ice cream cone

Pole axed – drunk

Praper – proper


Quare – a large amount

Quit yer yackin’ – stop moaning


Rake – to speed

Ride – a sexy person “yer wee man’s a pure ride!”

Ride – sex

Round – slice of bread


Sammige – sandwich

Sangwich – sandwich

Saunter – walk away from me

Says I – i said

Says I to her – i said to her

Schuck – ditch at side of road

Shappin’ – shopping

Shrapnel – coins

Scullery – the working kitchen

Scundered – embarrassed

Scunnered – tired

Shar – shower

Shut yer bake! – shut up!

Sicken ye – that would annoy you

Signed – sound

Skelpt – slapped

Skitter – a cheeky young person

Slabber – to talk rubbish

Slap it up ye! – serves you right!

Sleekit – sneaky

Smoother – Steam iron

Some pup – clever person

sound – nice “he’s sound”

Spacer / space cadet – an idiot

Spide – a male townie

spoofin’ – lying

spoon – silly person

Spuds – potatoes

Steaming – drunk

stickin’ out – this is good

Stocious – drunk

Suckin’ diesel – to be powered up and ready for action

Swally – to drink



Tarbil – terrible as in very

There you are now – a phrase used when something is over or finished.

Themuns – those other people “themuns get everything an we get nothin’!”

thick as champ – stupid

Thon – that

Thran – stubborn

Throughother – disorganised, a mess

Thunderplump – a thunderstorm

Ticket – to be full of ones self-importance

Till – to

Titter of wit – sensible

Tout – to report someone “themuns touted my up till the peelers”

Trail – to pull

Tube – idiot


Undercrackers – underwear

Up to high doe – worried/stressed out

Upcaste – to bring up the past



Waste of space – a person not worth bothering with

We’an – wee one – a child

Wee – little – goes in front of everything and anything – has nothing to do with size!

wee buns – easy

Wee doll – girl

Weeker! – brilliant!

weemin – women

Wee drap in yer han – cup of tea

Wee want – to be intellectually challenged

Well there you are now – a phrase to signify that something has come to an end or has finished.

Wet the babies head – go out to celebrate the birth of a baby

What’s the craic? – what’s happening?

Whataboutye! – How are you doing this fine day?

While – wild

wick – not good

Wind yer neck in – Shut up and calm down

Windie – window

Wired up till the moon – deranged

Wise up! – Behave

Wise the bap! – Wise up


X-ee O -Zees – Naughts and crosses


Yer – your

Yer aul arse – you are talking utter rubbish

Yer head’s a marley! – your head is a marble – as in you have no brains my dear friend

Yer head’s full of wee sweetie mice – you are daft

Yer da! –  your father!

Yer ma! – your mother!

Yer ma’s yer da! – very insulting

Yon – that

Youse – you

Youse gettin’? – are you getting served?

Yousens – you other people

Well, there you are now!

You can visit Norn Iron T-Shirts at Belfast’s award winning St Georges Market every weekend.

Or you can buy our tees online by visiting We deliver Northern Irish craic world wide!

Belfast’s St George’s Market Wins Prestigious Award

So we did did it! Our very own St Georges Market, nestled in the heart of Belfast city centre has won the 2014 National Association of British Market Authorities (NABMA) Award for Best Indoor Market 2014. This year St Georges Market beat off competition from internationally famous London markets Spitalfields, Billingsgate, and Borough. Which is great news for people like myself who are fortunate to run their business from the historic Victorian market hall.


History bit…

St Georges Market was built between 1890-1896 by J. C. Bretland. There has been a market on the same site between May Street and Bridge Street for over 400 years. Since the current market hall was built, the building has gone through some hard times, and almost faced closure in 1993 by Belfast City Council after it was earmarked for redevelopment. Luckily, thanks to a “Save St Georges Market” campaign, by the local community and the market traders, the building was reprieved. In 1997 a multi–million pound project was implemented and the market was refurbished.

Today, the market is open every Friday, Saturday, and Sunday throughout the year.

Friday Variety Market – Open 6am – 2pm

You’ll find around 248 market stalls selling products from Atlantic shark to antiques and fresh fruit. The fish section alone contains 23 fish stalls and holds the reputation for being the leading retail fish market in Ireland. Friday market is an old fashioned market. Expect to find old women with their shopping trollies getting their weekend messages.

The Saturday City Food and Craft Market  – Open 9am to 3pm

Saturday is more of a farmers market. You’ll find great local food produce, as well as savoring international flavours from the many nationalities that have settled in Northern Ireland. The market is also home to some of Northern Ireland’s finest crafters and artists, where you can purchase a variety of Northern Irish themed goods. It’s lively market with the addition of great live music which give the place a really great vibe.

Sunday Food, Craft and Variety Market – Open 10 – 4

Sunday market is a mixture of the Friday and Saturday markets, but with an emphasis on local arts and crafts, and again with the added bonus of live music. Sunday market is my personal favourite, as I’m sure most other traders will agree.

Sunday market is fast becoming a hub for a growing number of foreign tourists to Northern Ireland. With the general increase in tourism to the province, the Cruise Liners docking at the Port of Belfast, and the simple fact that the market is the only place open in Belfast on a Sunday morning! Plus, the market is under cover which makes its a perfect rainy day out.

St Georges on a Sunday is also a real family affair, there really is something for everyone; Vinyl records, antiques & vintage, cupcakes, art, food, jewellery, clothing and of course Norn Iron T-Shirts!  Most Sunday visitors usually start off with a dander round the market, before getting stuck in to a hearty Ulster Fry, and then getting down to some serious market shopping! The atmosphere is fantastic, if you’ve never been to St Georges market, I personally recommend visiting on a Sunday.

You can find Norn Iron T-Shirts in St Georges Market every Friday, Saturday, and Sunday all year round! Call on over to my stall and say “Hello”, I’ll be really pleased to see you!


Welcome to Norn Iron T-Shirts

I’ve finally got around to it and created a blog based around my life at Norn Iron T-Shirts. Expect plenty of Northern Ireland gossip and general market banter.

A potted history;  I launched the Norn Iron T-Shirts  brand almost 10 years ago, during a period of sickness. Bored senseless of day-time TV, I took to the internet and and launched Norn Iron T-Shirts off the back off the Myspace social media platform.  All these years later, I never expected that I would be a full-time market trader, nevermind running my own business!

You can shop with Norn Iron T-Shirts online at, or you can visit my stall every weekend at the award winning St.Georges Market in Belfast. Also feel free to give Norn Iron T-Shirts a wee like on Facebook , follow me on Twitter,  Instagram and Google+.  Although to be honest, nothing beats meeting my customers face to face at  St Georges market.

Norn Iron tTShirts

Norn Iron T-Shirts